The Sexually Compulsive Virgin
Sexual compulsivity doesn’t always mean hypersexual. Do you or does someone you know view pornography more than you’d like, or find it hard to stay away? Does porn viewing conflict with your value system, but you do it anyway? Do you spend way too much time exploring sexual opportunities online, in whatever form, and way too little (or no) time engaging in intimate sexual contact with another person? Do you think about sex too much…and avoid it at the same time, due to some form of fear? Do you consider your sexual needs bad, weak, problematic—and/or do you find that sexual thoughts and desires lead to periods of shame and self-loathing?
Many men consider themselves to have sexual compulsive behaviors even though they have had no intimate sexual contact with another person. This is a problem for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that these men are depriving themselves of meaningful, healthy sexual expression. If pornography and solitary sexual pursuits have become compulsive, it’s time to 1) stop the behaviors that are not working to satisfy authentic sexual needs and, 2) begin to explore actual authentic sexual intimacy, which is what most men (and people) really desire. Stop being a sex addict that avoids sex!