“Let him have one more Christmas with the family.”
“We’ll deal with it after New Year’s.”
“He promised he’d cut back once things calm down.”
Families say this to us every year around this time, and it comes from a good place. The holidays matter. There are traditions, kids who want their dad or uncle there, and the feeling that a hard conversation could ruin something that only happens once a year. January feels like a cleaner place to start.
Nobody should feel guilty for thinking this way. But before you decide, it helps to look honestly at what the holidays usually look like for a man who’s struggling, and at what waiting really means.
The Holidays Are Hard on a Lot of People
Even without addiction, this time of year is tough. In the American Psychiatric Association’s 2025 holiday poll, 41% of adults expected more holiday stress than the year before, up from around 30% in recent years. Nearly a third were worried about difficult family dynamics or being lonely.
Men often handle that stress quietly. Pew Research Center found that men don’t report feeling lonely more often than women, but they turn to their friends and family for emotional support less often. In addiction, that gap usually gets filled with something else: a drink, a pill, a screen, a bet.
So a man can be sitting at a full holiday table and still be very much alone. He may be counting the hours until he can use again, or hiding how much he already has.
The Holidays Are When People Put Things Off
There’s an interesting finding in the medical research. A study in the American Heart Association’s journal Circulation looked at decades of U.S. death records and found that December 25, December 26, and January 1 were the worst days of the year for deaths from natural causes. The researchers’ best explanation was that people delay getting care during the holidays. They felt fine enough, or too busy, or didn’t want to spoil the day.
That isn’t here to scare anyone. It just shows something most of us already know: the holidays give everyone a reason to put the hard thing off until later. Addiction is very good at using those reasons.
Questions Worth Asking Yourself
There’s no single right answer for every family. These questions can help you think it through.
Is it getting worse, or holding steady? Drinking or using more, hiding more, or pulling away more over the past few months matters more than the date on the calendar.
Has “after” happened before? After his birthday. After the Super Bowl. After the new job starts. If waiting has turned into a pattern, January may become one more date that comes and goes.
Is he asking for help? If he’s said, even once, that he wants to stop or doesn’t know how, take that seriously. A man’s willingness can be the most important thing in the room, and it doesn’t always last.
What will the holidays really look like if he’s there? Picture the actual days. Will he be present, or will everyone be watching the drinks, the car keys, or the bathroom door?
Is anyone in danger? Driving after drinking, mixing substances, or anything that puts him or others at risk changes the answer. Those situations don’t wait for the calendar.
If He Goes Before the Holidays
It’s fair to want to know what this looks like. If he starts treatment in the next few weeks, he may spend a holiday in treatment instead of at home.
At Prescott House, the first couple of weeks usually have limited family contact so a man can settle in and focus. The clinical team decides this case by case, and there’s usually a chance for one last call before it starts. It can be hard for families, especially in December.
Many families find it a quieter holiday than they expected. They know where he is, that he’s safe, and that he’s around men who understand exactly what he’s going through. For a man who has spent the last few holidays feeling alone in a crowded room, being among men who understand can matter a lot.
If You Decide to Wait
If your family decides to wait, make it a plan, not a postponement.
- Choose a date. “After the holidays” is a feeling. “January 4” is a plan.
- Make the call now anyway. Insurance checks, assessments, and finding the right fit all take time. Getting them done in December means January isn’t spent starting from scratch.
- Tell him the plan. Calmly, privately, and not at the dinner table.
- Plan the gatherings. Think through alcohol, driving, and who he’ll be around, and have a way out if things go badly.
Talk It Through With Someone
Prescott House has treated men in Prescott, Arizona, since 1988. If you’re trying to decide what to do this season, call us. A conversation isn’t a commitment. We can help you think through timing, answer questions about insurance and what treatment looks like, and help your family make a plan you feel good about.
Call (866) 425-2470 or verify your insurance here.
Keep Reading
- Finding Support: Resources for Families of Addicts During the Holidays. Where families can turn for support this time of year.
- The Bedroom Door. When a young man’s life quietly stops, and what parents can do.
- Stepping Back Into Life. Why independence comes back gradually at Prescott House.
Sources
You can call even if he isn't ready
Many of the people who call us are family members with questions. You don't need him to agree to anything before you talk to someone.
